you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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