I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
