Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
