The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Did I show you my penis last night?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
