Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
