Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
