We need to rekindle our bromance
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
