another moral hangover. fuck.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
