this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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