in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
