But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
