This is not my ceiling
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
