I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
