When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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