yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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