Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
