No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
