just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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