you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
