I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
