Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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