And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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