Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
