I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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