STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
