just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
