Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
