420 ftw
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
