Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
