Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I AM VODKA MAN
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
