The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
