Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
