I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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