I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
