Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
