my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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