Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
