Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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