I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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