where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
