Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
