I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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