i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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