So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You ruined the universe
Randomize
