love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize