My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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