Is it because I queefed?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
