Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
