I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We got so high we made milksteak
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
