that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im holly from the hills drunk
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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